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The WhatsApp Shakespeare. lyrics

Language

English

Level

Intermediate

Released

2026

Genre

Pop, R&B

Length

3:56

Play with synced lyrics

1. Once upon a time there was a (girl)

2. Girl, and there was a serpent (serpent)

3. Oh, and her name was Eve (Eve)

4. And she took a bite from the apple (apple)

5. And the story ain't this dissimilar

6. Many, many, many, many moons later

7. She'd be deceived by her very own traitor

8. And he weren't even my type on paper

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9. Such sweet poetry he would write

10. The WhatsApp Shakespeare Killer we call him

11. Lies just to climb into your bedroom door

12. Now you're fighting for your life on your bedroom floor

13. And, and a devil did send him, heart of blue, black venom

14. My mother knew when she met him

15. Wolf in sheep's clothes, oh, but in this case, denim

16. Uh, cold-blood felon

17. Oh, how Mother would then mourn the ghost of her daughter

18. As he lured me in like a lamb to the slaughter

19. Yeah, yeah, sounds very dramatic, don't it?

20. A modern-day tragedy I call it

21. It's a true story, it happened

22. Oh, how he romanced (romanced) on me, on me, on me

23. He'd WhatsApp call me, call me with a

24. "Wherefore art thou, true love?"

25. He strikes again, ooh, he's a cursive kisser

26. He romanced on me, on me, on me

27. Romeo, oh no, I was a fool to love you, damn

28. Juliet must run, (Juliet) Juliet must vanish

29. Damn it, cut him off savage, he must be banished

30. The WhatsApp Shakespeare Killer

31. I was still breathing, baby, just barely (barely)

32. Grandma had to bring her Bible (Bible)

33. Sister wanna hunt him down, but only Jesus can save him now

34. Like, like, like Lazarus I did rise

35. What a miracle she could survive, last text sent in the dead of the night

36. When the light in her eyes left with him

37. Hold sis earrings, go get him

38. Oh, how Mother would then mourn the ghost of her daughter

39. As he lured me in like a lamb to the slaughter

40. Yeah, yeah, sounds very dramatic, don't it?

41. A modern-day tragedy I call it

42. Not with thy flesh, but with thy words, he would

43. Romance (romance) on me, on me, on me

44. He'd WhatsApp call me, call me with a

45. "Wherefore are thou, true love?"

46. He strikes again, ooh, he's a cursive kisser

47. He romanced on me, on me, on me

48. Romeo, oh no, I was a fool to love you, damn

49. Juliet must run, (Juliet) Juliet must vanish

50. Damn it, cut him off savage, he must be banished

51. The WhatsApp Shakespeare Killer

52. Run, Juliet, run, Juliet, run, silence all notifications

53. Forward this text to at least ten people, please

54. Thy words I plead from thy tongue, his weapons of mass seduction

55. My midsummer night nightmare, don't end up like me

56. He's still out there, Romeo Fraud

57. He's a 6'2" sick mother-, five months minimum recovery

58. From a sweet lie to the all-out Shakespearean voice-notery

59. Though I'd like to clarify, no one did die in the story

60. But I did inside, when I found out I was one of seven other leading ladies

61. Starring in the new romantic thriller

62. Presenting the WhatsApp Shakespeare Killer

63. Ooh, he's a cursive kisser (Romeo Fraud)

64. He'd WhatsApp call me (call me, call me with the) mm (wow)

65. Wherefore (ooh) art thou (mm), true love?

66. Oh (bam, bam, bam, bam, bam)

67. He would romance

68. Where once I lived in the palm of his hand

69. And at the time, how could I understand?

70. Why now I ask you to forward this message

71. Or face seven months' sadness

72. You better run

73. Stick it to the man

74. You better run while you can

75. Fact, your Uber's outside

76. Must learn the art of airtime

77. You never must reply

78. You must escape the clutches of this Fake Prince Charming

79. A.k.a. the WhatsApp Shakespeare, darling, dun-dun, dun-dun-dun

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