禁じた遊び lyrics with English translation

綺麗なものを見て 洗われる様に

Seeing beautiful things, as if I’m being cleansed,

自分の汚れを知る様に

To know the stains upon my own soul.

あの子が死ぬほど羨ましい

I envy that girl to the point of death,

だってだって全部持ってるんだもん

Because, because she has it all, you know?

月と太陽はきっと 仲が悪いんでしょ？

The moon and the sun must surely not get along, right?

都合よく生きられるなら

If life could be lived conveniently,

無償の愛で私をギュッと抱きしめて

Hold me tight with your unconditional love,

私が もういい って伝えるまで

Until I can convey that I'm okay with it.

例えば 貴方に嫌われそうな時

For instance, when it seems you might dislike me,

それが怖いから先に嫌う

I fear that, so I end up disliking first.

とても可哀想なワタクシです

Oh, I'm such a pitiful soul.

どうかどうか許さないでおくれ

Please, please don't forgive me

見事なもんで 景色はただ美しい

It's magnificent, the scenery is simply beautiful.

比べて僕のこの澱みの中

In this murkiness of mine, compared to others,

あの子が狂おしく憎たらしい

That girl drives me mad with her spitefulness

だってだって一生気づかないんだもん

But, but you'll never notice it in your lifetime.

気づかないで居られる人生って

A life where you can stay unaware

どれだけ楽かも

How easy it can be

気づかないで居られるなんて

How can I stay unaware?

なんかやっていられやしないよ

I just can't seem to carry on, you know?

本当クソもいいところ

It's honestly pretty messed up,

全てに もういい って言ってしまいそう

I feel like I might just say 'Enough' to everything.

例えば 僕が先の未来で

For instance, in the future ahead of me,

信じてたものが無くなって

What I believed in might just disappear.

ひどく独りをまた思い知った時

When I realize once more how lonely it truly is,

何を迷わずに捨てるんだろう

What would I throw away without hesitation?

諦めるんだろう

I guess I'll just give up.

揺らいだ思いに 禁じた遊びに

In wavering thoughts and forbidden games,

君を切った後には 僕も共に

After I cut you off, I'll be lost too,

昔の思いに 隠した感情

Hidden emotions from days gone by.

本当は誰よりあなたが好きなのに

Honestly, I love you more than anyone else,

楽しいことと 哀しいこと

The fun times and the sad times,

足して2つで割っても均等になれず

Even if you add them together and divide by two, they won't balance out.

幸せですとも それは嘘じゃない

I'm happy, that’s not a lie,

それが僕だ 世話の焼ける僕なんだ

That's just me, the troublesome me.

では最後に聞いて これが本音です

So let me ask you one last time, this is my true feeling.

全部全部わかってます 感謝もしています

I understand everything, I'm grateful as well.

でも人が僕に捧げてくれる言葉が

But the words that people dedicate to me,

何故か入ってきません それが嫌で

For some reason, they don't sink in, and I hate that.